When the rains pour

Sometimes i hate it when it rains. Everything is so damp and grey. The people are so cold literally and figuratively. No time to chat, no time to chill, no time to hang... everyone just wants to get home safe otherwise they will have helluva time getting home.

Here at home the walls are damp and the ambiance is quite sleepy. No one wants to go out exept for several occassions that we had to go out. Everything is sooo slow. The energy level is so low. Even the sun i painted in my wall at my room couldn't do anything to bring warmth or least dry up the drippings that came from a roof leak on my bedroom floor.

I miss people's warmth. I miss human contact. Not that i don't get any from the people that matters to me most but they can't always be there for me. That's a selfish thought, Keekai. You can't always bum your family to be with you always day in day out. No matter how hard you try and no matter how high you bribe them. They, too, have a life of their own just like everyone else... just like you.

Me? Why did i end up like this? i have always been a solitary person... well, erm, not really but i always wanted to be. I hate it when people meddle with my affairs. I hate it when they worry much of me. I used to think that i can handle everything by myself... well, i still do but not this. I hate this feeling of being powerless over certain situations... not really certain but in every situation. I am not used to giving the wheels to another driver... i had to be the driver of my life.

What the hell am i talking about? Damn, i need booze :)