Sad sunsets

"You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad..."

- The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exupery

Self check:

I totally love sunsets. If only i could watch it fourty-four times a day like the little prince did once when he was still on his planet. Am i sad?

On other hand, someone has commented that it was romantic... awful comment, i say. I am not a romantic person. I am a keep-it-real type but it is absolutely contradictory as morethan anything else I prefer impressionism. Sunsets are abstract. Am i making it complicated?

Quit smoking?

I am a smoker and I used to smoke 2 packs a day. So that makes it more or less

40 sticks per day
280 sticks per week
1,120 sticks per month
13,440 sticks per year.

I am only 25 now but I can say I have really unhealthy lungs as I have started seriously smoking a very long time ago. Most of my immediate family members are absolute smokers (that practically sums to my mum, my dad, my big brother, and my sister-in-law and that leaves out my 14-year old little brother and my almost 3-year old nephew). It's kinda cool to think that my family is quite open on smoking issues (as well as on other ishs) as we are basically a family of smokers (and drinkers... and late sleepers). We even share our cigarettes or have a family in-house party for no occassion at all.

Just recently (really recent... like a couple of minutes ago) my cousin, J, shared that his dad is battling level 4 non-small cell lung cancer which has already spread to the esophagus and the liver as well. Woah, i'm at work but i really couldn't concentrate now. It broke my heart. :(

My uncle, Tito Plimen, as we call him was an active smoker. He has been butting more than 2 packs per day. Ever since I could remember he is absolutely a manic smoker. Last time when they picked me up in Thailand and i toured them for a few day vacation as well, I watched him finish a lotta smoke all through out the trip. Mind you people, these are blue seal brands which means stronger butts! Totally kicks you in right in the spots. And then a couple of months after, I found out that he got sick and ergo given up smoking at all as he has to.

So now, come to think of it. What did smoking ever did to me?

Cigarette has been my constant and loyal friend. It has been my so-called companion during lonely, boring, rough, fun, nostalgic, euphoric, celebratic, eccentric, tough times of my life. When I was living alone and feeling homesick, it has been my constant friend along with alcohol. I have as well introduced it to my other friends and more so made so much friends because of it. So basically it helped me maintain my sanity.

But lately, cigarette has not been my object of affection. Prior to knowing my uncle's sickness, i was practically trying to keep my puffs to a minimum of just a couple of sticks per day. Surprised? I bet you are. Why? Just because...

I don't really know. Maybe, for one, I am playing badminton again. It has been a regular Saturday morning routine for me and my family lately. No matter how late I go home friday (practically saturday wee hour) I have somehow developed a rhythm to wake up early on Saturdays, get dressed, rush to my brother's house, get them to suit themselves up, eat brunch at Alexa's deli courtesy of our generous tita, play an hour or so at The Zone again courtesy of our generous tita, grab something nice to eat and chat all afternoon.... but my Saturday nights activities vary.

Another reason might be since I am back here at my mum's home I feel puffing smokes here would feel like being in a gas chamber. Mum's house is quite small... hardly have windows and i kinda feel off when i smoke near my kid brother. Don't want him to think that smoking is cool and smoking is quite normal. It's incohesive and it's absolutely wonky, i know, but I don't want him to start the same age as I did... or rather i don't even want him to start at all.

Another reason might be that I hardly have time doing things apart from work. Agency life has been totally demanding I didn't even have much time to finish my writing... moreso, produce well thought-of materials. I know my writing has gone bonkers... I am not performing very well and everything has been consistently half-baked ideas. Thank God, Jeeda and Por has been quite patient to me.

Lastly, since I have been loaded with these stuff that i mentioned, ergo, I hardly have time for myself at all. I rarely partied anymore, haven't gone out with my other friends, haven't had the time to return calls or to sit down for a good cup of coffee, haven't met new ones, haven't... haven't... haven't... lately. Bleh, I am practically whinning here!

Going back to my thoughts now, I am basically considering on quiting BUT NOT ABRUPTLY! I used to think that I would be smoking 'til they take away my lungs but guess I have changed mindset lately. So lets see what happens.

Girl Ish

Girls are generally irrational.. they have an inherent disposition to become pathologically INSECURE! Talk about femme absurdity. This is just one of the kazillion reasons why i prefer to hang with the dudes. Unlike hoes, dudes are absolutely REAL.

Hey, I can't help it if I possess a nice smile. Don't pretend you didn't see me and look past me when I effortlessly smile to you. Don't be fooled! I am merely being pleasant but I am not your Little Miss Pea-Brain. I see through you and I know how to get even at the least you expect.

I know that you absolutely think that I am good so move it, bitch! Getawtofdwei! I am perfectly capable of what I am doing and I know when, where, and how to ask should there be a need. I admit... I am not a know-it-all but I learn fast... so fast you wouldn't even know what hit you!

Be grateful of what you have other than constantly lint-picking my shirt. Get a hobby, get some new friends, go out and get fresh, find something worthwhile to do, or for St. Crusty the Clown's sake... GET A LIFE of your own. I am not the telenovela villainess you so hate. Guess what, I am real! So, watch out.

keekai on caffeine

Oh no! Not until this morning that I have done full acknowledgement of my latest addiction. I have turned into a coffee addict!

So what made me say that? Here goes. I have been noticing that for these past few weeks, I am sooo cranky in the morning. My day ends and begins almost in a routine. I go home, check my mails, work on my writing while catching up with my friends who are online at the same time, half watching whatever my brother is watching on DVD (lately its been desperate housewives series). I sleep late as usual... always after 12. At about 6.30am my mum bangs at my door, wakes me up, and ask me if I'm going to work. Of course, I will. I go down, pump up the music my brother is playing, or change it to the morning rush, and wait for my brother to finish taking a bath. After he showers, I get under it, brush my teeth, put on standard day-to-day makeup, spend a great deal of time coming up with an outfit for the day, slip on something i like, then of course my shoes, throw some stuff on my bag, go down and out, and wait for mum to lock up. Get to work riding a jeep and a taxi. Then i'm in the office before or a bit after 8am. You know what? After checking my mails in the morning, I rush to the pantry and fill my commuter mug with coffee!

I have been literally sooo attached to my commuter mug that I was saddened when my nephew accidentally bumped the table and broke it. So the following monday, I just had to buy a new one. I have been taking it wherever I go... dinner meetings with friends, commuting to and from office, badminton sessions on saturdays, shopping, etc. Of course it has to be filled with coffee or water.

So again, what made me say that i'm addicted to coffee already? Here goes. I slept last night and woke up today doing the same routine. But then I tried to go through the morning with just having water after I ate my breakfast. So its water... water... water. Guess what? I was in such a cranky-wonky mood! I am sooo sleepy my eyes are literally dropping... so come lunch time I give in and slept thinking that when I wake up I would be different. Well, an hour passed I woke up and still I was feeling bonkers. I couldn't take it anymore... I have to have a shot of caffeine. So I went down and snugged me a frapp.

Haaaayyy... now sipping and finishing my cold and soothing frapp, I feel better. It's already past 2pm but i feel like my day is just starting.

Despite of all these, I have been limiting my caffeine shot to one to two tall mugs per day (one in the morning and one after work meetings with friends). Although, it kinda bugs me now cuz I used to loathe drinking coffee. I mean, before this addiction I am not actually a coffee person. I prefer chocolate drinks, shakes and even milk (and of course beer and other poisons). The only coffee I drink are the ones from my grandma's cup (creamy and sweet) then later on just the starbucks frapp I normally order occassionally. Now, it's a staple to me every morning and I'm starting to be alarmed.

TGIF

Yey! It's Friday!

I have never been so happy until now just because its already Friday. It's been really an uber interesting week for me here (sitting at McCann)... really totally absolufrigginlutely interesting! Hey, no sarcasm. I am enjoying what I'm doing now and everyone is quite smart. In fact, they are so smart they make me 'look' smart as well! Talk about mixing to the right working group ;)

Last night was a total blast! We celebrated my favorite upcoming artist, Aleks, burpdei! Well, its not entirely a wild shindig but I had soooo much fun. I'm glad I went cuz at first I felt kinda lazy (hello! it was raining!) and megamall isn't really my type of place. Ang layo, men! But then, hey, what the hell, I owe these people big time (for constantly cancelling and not showing up coffee night schedules) so I went after meeting up for a chit-chat with my Jhan (sis, miss u!).

I took the MRT as that was the smartest thing to do... traffic is soooo pathetic from Makati to Ortigas and I don't want to punish myself sitting in a cab alone. Can you believe... i took the MRT alone! Adventure itoh! Well i did rode the MRT years back alone so I have some experiences not to mention my last ride with Jhan couple of months ago when we went to Metrowalk just to watch Bamboo play at Aruba and of course meet her cousins from the US (which reminds me... i havent emailed back Jhan's cousin, Boogie... or did i?). So anyway, i bought a ticket which is totally unmarked so I dont know which side should go into that thing-amma-jig wherein you insert the tickets to get inside the station. I caused a 2-minute foot traffic! Sooo embarrassing!

So I met up with the girls, Glecie, Wena, Peegee, Georg, and Joel at the foodcourt near the ice skating rink (xmpre nde ku alam kung saan ang foodcourt so i had to ask the guard for the directions). We... ermm... they are supposed to go ice skating but it was kinda late na. We headed to Tempt Asian at megastrip. In fairness, fairview and fairwell (hehe), food there is ok. Their tom yum koong is better than some other restaurants here (though nothing beats the one in Lang Suan Chinese restaurant... hay I miss mak mak!). Of course, walang kamatayang kwentuhan!!! Namiss ku tuloy ang Aesod (even the office pets hehe)!

Now its Friday! Tonight i might meet Chip and Karl but tomorrow is what I am sooooo looking forward to! Badminton with Tita, J, my brothers, Jo, and Wesley poooopooooch, gown-fitting MM's wedding, and we might go to the Redhorse event at night (provided that it will not rain).

On a Wednesday Morning

I
drew
a
sun
on
the
pavement
...

hoping
you
would
stop
from
pouring.

McCann Monday

It's a McCann Monday!

Been quite busy... oh shod it... really busy! good busy not busy-busy... well i'm loving what i'm doing ;)

Fer shizz mah nizz!


oh btw, here's the new color... couldn't post from previous blog.

I just changed the color

My first week at NewMedia has been great! I get to meet a lot of people (PANA, Globe, J&J, Yehey, Digipost, etc.) and learn more on my turf. I totally enjoyed the week though quite tiresome. Being with Ferdi and Tiwa is quite an adventure. They are really remarkable people... young, bold, and they know their stuff really well. I can live with that ;)

I didn't went out Friday night inspite of the many gimik and night-out invitations i got from my friends (I am sooo sorry dudes and dudettes) and also i was kinda broke that day hehehe. I have been really tired so I went to bed really early and woke up for the Saturday i have been looking forward to. This Saturday I pampered myself!

I woke up early, checked my mails to see if i have some writing i needed to finish. Twasn't many so i put it on hold. I went to my brother's house, played and watched Saturday morning cartoons with my nephew while they get ready. After my big bro did car wash, we zoomed to meet up with my cousin J and Tita Carolle in her condo in Makati. We had a very nice breakfast at Alexa's Deli and then off we go the Zone to play badminton.

It's a friggin oven at the Zone cuz we got there at nearly noon but i didn't mind. The facilities are quite nice (comparing to the court we normally play near our house) but playing there would be very expensive. Buti na lang sagot ni Tita! hehehe Twas really a good one-hour game... my big bro kicked ass! Since he was a better volleyball player than I was... his badminton skills are a bit intimidating as he can hit the shuttlecock air-suspended! I'm gonna get him next time for sure!

After that, we had a lunch fest at a park in Salcedo Village. It kinda reminded me of Thailand where people go out to lunch on tents and shop as well. Sarap!

We went back to Tita's condo and my nephew couldn't resist dipping on the pool while us gurlies chat about some stuff. I opened up my biz proposition to my Tita and voila! she find it pretty lame and she will give us support! Yippeeeeee me and Joan will be an entrepreneur soon!!! Watch out for our keekai stuff in the market before Christmas. Hayyyyy sobrang exciting!!!

Anyway, afterwhich, I asked my bro to drop me off the salon. I deserve some pampering! I asked my mum and Joan to join me as well. Mum and I got foot spa (ayan mukha nang paa nde na luya hahaha). Jo got a hair relax... nde na xa kulot! While I got changed my hair color from black to dark ash blonde. See here:


Twas such a good hair job. I wanted to perm my hair but i guess it's still short and it would look funny if i do that. So i'll just wait till it grow longer.

We went to do some groceries and then on our way home it rained so hard! Damn, I hated it. Rain has been quite irksome lately... pretty much ruining my night-out plans. So instead of going out, I went to bed early.

But on second thought, I was kinda tired.

Just a thought...

surprise me..
amuse me..
hold me..
watch sunsets with me..
for all eternity.